Random Thoughts

March 29, 2011 nikigreen

My aunt sent me an email today and it cracked me up.  No lie, I sat here and laughed until I had tears rolling down my face, but it got me to thinking; what kind of randomness runs through your head on a daily basis?

I have all kinds.  Some of mine consist of the following:

1. Why do guys say they don’t like skinny girls (you know with the exposed hip bones and the breasts that look like two over easy eggs), but those are the ones you hit on in a club, in a bar, in the grocery store, or wherever?  Please explain if there is an explanation.

. Why are the words ‘dog ration’ and ‘this is dog ration or dog food’ written forty times on a bag of dog food?  If it looks like dog food, and smells like dog food I’m pretty much going to assume its dog food and not steak. The same goes for shit..if it looks like shit and it smells like shit..you can pretty much bet it’s shit so don’t taste test it to make sure..it sure ain’t chocolate.

3. Why do guys beat their chests like Tarzan when they are mad and about to brawl?  It’s kinda of silly.  I just want to say, when I see a guy do this, “You Tarzan and you dumb as hell”, but I don’t because I’m a nice person.

4. Why does you nose itch when your hands are wet or otherwise covered in something you don’t want on you face?

5. Are breasts really that big of a deal?  I’ll answer that one: yep, without a doubt.

6. It is true that if you don’t use it you lose it?  I just don’t see that happening.

Now, those are some of my random thoughts and here are some from the email that was sent to me.  Laugh your ass off because I did.

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

2. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

3. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

4. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

5. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

6. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

See that shit is funny and I have thought these exact same things numerous times.  Does that make me weird?  Does it mean that I really need to find more ways to occupy my time?  Yes, to both probably, but what else are you supposed to do when you are sitting in traffic behind someone’s Grandma going two miles and hour who has had her turn signal on for the last fifteen miles?  Randomness…you gotta love it.

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